Animals in my house

My children are begging me to get an animal, one wants a dog the other wants a cat.
Now don't get my wrong, I love animals, if they live in someone else's house or wondering about
in their native habitat.
Let's start with dogs, positives and negatives.

Positive: Most of them make good watch dogs.

Negatives: They smell, they drool everywhere, most will run if given the opportunity
and may come back having rolled in deer dung or been sprayed by a skunk and God knows
what else. They bite. They shed. Dog hair can be found in your dinner. It is extremely difficult
to give it a bath. It's incessant barking drives the neighbors crazy. The dog will entertain your guests by rolling over and licking it's genitals. You have to walk the dog at 3am if that's want it wants (or clean the mess).
Last but definitely no least, dogs can have this problem with their butts which require a call to Stanley Steamer.


Cats:
Positives: cats are loving.
They clean their own bodies.
They don't need to be walked.
They are intelligent
They only need a small amount of food.
and need their water bowls to be kept full.
It's great to watch cats trip-out on catnip or
going nuts trying to get the piece of cardboard
from the end of a wire.

Negatives: cleaning the liter box
cleaning up after one has hocked up a hair ball (really not that bad).
Scaring the crap out of you when the cat jumps on the back of your head
while sitting on the couch.
and
walking across the piano keys at 5am.

It's obvious to me that cat's are the way to go.

They're still not getting either.